You may be surprised that the Word of God contains many funny bible verses. Though the bible is recognized to be sacred, a few verses can be sarcastic and upright hilarious when taken out of context.
It’s important that you read the Bible in its entirety and not only a verse then run with it. Find out the context of that verse and the lessons to be learned.
So, we can all agree that the Bible is an interesting book to read at any time of the day.
Funny Bible Verses Taken Out Of Context
Just to clear the air, we can all agree that the Bible is to be taken seriously. But we can’t ignore the fact that it also contains a little bit of humor.
Laughter is medicine to the body and in these recent times, we need plenty of it. Take for instance this one:
Song of Songs 7:4 NIV – Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.
We shouldn’t be talking about anyone in this manner. But C’mon it’s funny coming from the bible.
2 Kings 2:23-24 NIV: From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he walked along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldly!” they said. He turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
Boys have different variations in Hebrew. This scripture refers to young men in case you think it’s small kids.
In this passage, some youths are making fun of Elisha because of his relationship with Elijah and of course, he is bald. Elisha got so offended that he cursed these youths. Karma came real quick for these boys!
Here is another one where Paul was talking non-stop that a young man fell in a deep sleep that those around thought he was dead. We have all been there when you have to sit through a boring speech.
Acts 20:9-10 NIV: Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man, and put his arms around him. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “He’s alive!”
With this one, I think I laugh a little too hard. Some wishes aren’t meant to speak.
Galatians 5:12 NIV – As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves.
Funny Bible Verse On Marriage
If your goal is to have a happy and lasting marriage – then spending time together laughing should be the goal. Marriage can have its ups and downs.
Don’t get me wrong, marriage is beautiful when God is the center of it. But at times, our flesh can get in the way. So these funny bible verses on marriage will be relatable.
Proverbs 21:9 NIV: “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
A corner of the roof is small, uncomfortable, and is exposed to the elements. But to the husband, roofing repairs are far cheaper than therapy, right? Imagine living on a roof to get some peace from your partner. Peace is more important than living in constant misery.
Proverbs 21:19 NIV – It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
This one is similar to the one above but this time the proverbs say it is better to live in a desert land. Compared with the verse above, the man is completely removed from the house and now the desert is much better. Now he’ll be far away from here.
These proverbs seem personal, I am now wondering if the author King Solomon had a nagging wife.
Proverbs 12:9 NIV – A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Proverbs 27:15-16 NIV – A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
Haha. What a way to describe someone! Restraining this person is impossible and difficult.
Proverbs 11:22 NIV – Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
Have you ever seen a gold ring in a swine’s snout? I know that wouldn’t look right. Solomon is saying it’s the same with a beautiful woman who lacks self-control and wisdom.
Funny Bible Verses About Poop
I can bet you didn’t think that the Bible has some funny quotes about poop. I don’t know what with poop that makes kid laughs so hard.
For some, it may be disgusting but wait until you see these verses. You’ll either be laughing or be like, “What?”
Ezekiel 4:12 NIV – Eat the food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.
Deuteronomy 23:12-13 NIV: Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover your excrement.
We get a little inside scoop of what the Israelites do when ‘nature calls’. Talk about no privacy!
They even had to dig a hole and use it to cover it. But on a serious note, this teaches us that prioritizing cleanliness and hygiene is very important even if you have to do it the ancient way.
Isaiah 36:12 NIV – But the commander replied, “Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?”
Funny Bible Verses About Drinking
Some may view drinking alcohol as a taboo subject in the Christian community. But you’ll be surprised that the bible contains lighthearted or humorous scriptures on drinking.
Before I go any further, I am not underestimating the effects of alcoholism.
Proverbs 20:1 NIV – Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise.
If you’re going to be deceived, let it be by dessert. It’s much more forgiving! This proverb is a simple reminder to not let our indulgences control us and to always remain mindful of our actions. So cheers to staying sober and wise!
Acts 2:15 NIV- These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning!
Proverbs 23:31-32 NIV – Do not gaze at one wine when it is red when it sparkles in the cup when it goes down smoothly! In the end, it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper.
More Funny Verses and Stories
Proverbs 26:11 NIV: As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.
Though this seems like a harsh comparison, for no one would want to be compared to a dog or a fool. But it does serve as a humorous reminder to not make the same mistakes over and over.
It’s a dog’s nature to return to its vomit and fool nature to continue in their incorrect ways. Imagine being grossed out and ridiculed at the same time. So let this encourage us to start making changes in our lives and learn from our mistakes.
Numbers 22:28 NIV: Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?
This reminds me of the talking donkey in Shrek. Can you imagine being so stubborn and ignorant of God’s presence that a donkey has to rebuke you?
To get a better understanding of this comical story let me explain a bit. The donkey sees an angel blocking the path and refuses to go any further.
Balaam becomes and is like “No we have somewhere to go” and begins to beat the poor animal. They went on to have a full-blown conversation. It shows that these animals cannot be underestimated.
Exodus 4:24-26 NIV – At a lodging place on the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin, and touched Moses’ feet with it. ‘Surely you are the bridegroom of blood to me,’ she said. So the Lord let him alone.
To save Moses’ life, Zipporah performs a circumcision with a flint knife. Ouch!
That’s certainly a quick fix. Sometimes the most simple things can save a life.
Proverbs 26:13 NIV: A sluggard says, “There’s a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets!
What a hilarious way to justify one’s procrastination. A lazy person will create any excuse to avoid responsibility.
Imagine going to the extent of creating a whole scenario of facing a lion – a fierce one too, to avoid doing any work.
However, as amusing as this proverb is, it highlights the importance of taking responsibility and not allowing fear to hinder you.
Genesis 31:27 NIV: Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn’t you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of timbrels and harps? You didn’t even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters goodbye. You have done a foolish thing.
Yes, we all know about petty family dramas – but this is the bible edition. In this story, we see that Laban was chasing after his son-in-law, who had fled with his daughters and flocks.
What makes it hilarious, is that in the past Laban had deceived Jacob. Now, he’s playing the victim! This is a reminder that what goes around, comes around, even in biblical times.
Proverbs 26:12: Do you see a person wise in their eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them.
A proud man who is wise in his own eyes, Solomon says that a fool has better luck than them. This reminds us not to let our egos get the best of us.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 NIV: I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned, but time and chance happen to them.”
This verse can be seen as a reminder that luck doesn’t always align with our efforts and intelligence.
Instead of focusing on our failures, let’s embrace the unexpected and find amusement in the small surprises of life.
Luke 14:27 NIV: And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
In all honesty, a cross is pretty heavy. This verse is a reminder that true discipleship requires sacrifice and dedication. And while you’re at it, enjoy a little humor.
John 21:25 NIV: Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the world itself would not have room for the books that would be written.
Relying on traditional book publishing methods is inadequate to record everything about Jesus. Perhaps a blog could do the job. This shows how amazing Jesus truly is amazing.
1 Corinthians 15:34 NIV: Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God – I say this to your shame.
That is some serious shade coming from Paul. To be continuously and willfully ignorant of God’s word can lead me to sin.
Genesis 6:6 NIV: The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.
Seems like we humans can be quite a handful. Adam was the proof of that. I can imagine God wondering what he got himself into. But in all seriousness, God just had a moment and decided to give humanity another chance.
Proverbs 16:18 NIV – Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
I can’t tell the number of times I fall due to my prideful nature. We have all been there! The feeling is similar when you confidently make a witty comment only to have it completely backfire. In all seriousness who wants to fall – that’s so embarrassing.
Matthew 7:3 NIV – Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eyes?
Have you ever witnessed someone judging another, only to find out they are guilty of the same thing? Let this be a humorous reminder for us to focus on our faults before pointing out the faults of others. Jesus wants us to practice humility and self-reflection.
Genesis 18:12 NIV: So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, ‘After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?’
In this passage, laughs at the idea of giving birth in her old age. I mean, Sarah’s reaction is both relatable and hilarious. What makes it funnier is that she gives birth in the end. God knows how to surprise us all.
In Conclusion
Over 20+ scriptures to make you laugh until your belly hurts. I bet you didn’t expect the bible to have so many hilarious verses of Scripture and stories.
It’s evident that the Bible also has a sense of humor. So, the next time you need a good laugh and cheer yourself up, take up the bible. It does wonder!
But in all seriousness, I hope that this post will encourage you to delve more into your Bible.
